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"and if you gaze for long into the internet, the internet gazes also into you" --nietzsche

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Earlier today The Times seemed to imply, through a hard-to-miss ad placed under the “Most Emailed” list, that Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg was featured in some kind of shouty talking head match involving webcams and headsets with what appeared to be Tucker Carlson Lite. And yet, after that poignant, promising snapshot of online rancor, there is no streaming Zuckerberg to be found. Instead we get Chris Hayes of The Nation, which is fine and all, but I’d like to see how Hayes would have argued had he a cool theoretical two billion dollars on his side of things. I have a few theories of my own: 1) The Times thinks that all young men who work on these there computers look pretty much the same. 2) The Times, hoping to score big on Zuckerberg’s web-2.0-famous mug, substituted the first shot to get all of our hot, hot clicking action. There are at least 20 of us that would have recognized him, which is more than would usually watch two guys who somehow manage to look younger than me though I just got carded for cigarettes talk to each other about politics via webcam. 3) The first picture is not Mark Zuckerberg. There is no Mark Zuckerberg. 4) Facebook is buying The Times, and Maureen Dowd and Paul Krugman will be added to my Oregon Trail wagon, just like I always dreamed in my favorite pioneer dreams.

Earlier today The Times seemed to imply, through a hard-to-miss ad placed under the “Most Emailed” list, that Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg was featured in some kind of shouty talking head match involving webcams and headsets with what appeared to be Tucker Carlson Lite.

And yet, after that poignant, promising snapshot of online rancor, there is no streaming Zuckerberg to be found. Instead we get Chris Hayes of The Nation, which is fine and all, but I’d like to see how Hayes would have argued had he a cool theoretical two billion dollars on his side of things.

I have a few theories of my own:

1) The Times thinks that all young men who work on these there computers look pretty much the same.

2) The Times, hoping to score big on Zuckerberg’s web-2.0-famous mug, substituted the first shot to get all of our hot, hot clicking action. There are at least 20 of us that would have recognized him, which is more than would usually watch two guys who somehow manage to look younger than me though I just got carded for cigarettes talk to each other about politics via webcam.

3) The first picture is not Mark Zuckerberg. There is no Mark Zuckerberg.

4) Facebook is buying The Times, and Maureen Dowd and Paul Krugman will be added to my Oregon Trail wagon, just like I always dreamed in my favorite pioneer dreams.